Handy - Weird Al Yankovic.mp3

[00:08.110]First things first, I'm a craftsman
[00:10.470]Remodelling is my only passion
[00:13.480]And I'm the greatest in the business
[00:14.710]Want referrals, yo
[00:15.930]My clientèle will bear you witness
[00:18.150]I can help when your door jamb sticks
[00:19.900]There is nothing in the world I can't fix
[00:22.960]I do tiles, I do stone, I do bricks
[00:24.850]Call me, I'll come rushing over
[00:26.210]with my bag of tricks
[00:28.000]Where you go when your disposal is rusted
[00:30.140]Termite problem making you disgusted
[00:32.930]When your front window is busted
[00:35.740]Just one man that's always trusted
[00:37.740]I'm so handy, you already know
[00:42.300]I'll fix your plumbing
[00:45.390]when your toilets over flows
[00:47.500]I'm so handy, I'll bring you up to code
[00:52.300]When your dishwasher's about to explode
[00:57.450]Now you see that
[00:57.980]your furnace is needing some service
[01:00.130]I'm fully bonded, no need to be nervous
[01:02.490]Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica
[01:05.070]Maybe I'll hook up your dish washer combo dryer
[01:07.250]But all your pipes are antique
[01:08.420]Your water pressure's too weak
[01:09.660]You got an attic full of dry rot
[01:11.050]Because your roof sprung a leak
[01:12.190]Your fridge is starting to reek
[01:13.340]Your hardwood floors really squeak
[01:14.570]But don't you worry
[01:15.320]I'll just show you my amazing technique
[01:17.140]Now let me glue that,
[01:18.100]glue that and screw that, screw that
[01:19.830]Any random chore you got,
[01:20.600]well I can do that, do that
[01:22.140]Or maybe I'll just rewire your house for fun
[01:24.820]I got 99 problems but a switch ain't one
[01:27.640]I'm so handy, everyone said so
[01:32.280]I'll grout your bathroom, resurface your patio
[01:37.610]I'm so handy, I'm the guy to know
[01:42.270]When your leaf blower doesn't blow-oh-oh-oh
[01:47.590]Patch the drywall,
[01:50.060]clean your gutters and mow the lawn
[01:52.300]Make that phone call,
[01:55.050]I'll install anything you want
[01:57.290]Yeah, check my big staple gun,
[01:59.940]my socket wrenches are second to none
[02:02.570]I won't quit 'til I'm done,
[02:05.030]don't even care if I hammer my thumb
[02:13.590]Still rocking my screwdriver
[02:15.430]Got the whole world thinking I'm MacGuyver
[02:17.930]Your heating bills are shocking
[02:20.340]I can solve that with some duct tape
[02:21.800]and some caulking
[02:23.750]Your house is a disaster, huh?
[02:25.510]Need a guy whose a master with the plaster, huh?
[02:28.580]Let me be your stripper
[02:30.080]Taking off lacquer, no one does it quicker
[02:32.640]I'm so handy, you already know
[02:37.270]I'll beat all price quotes,
[02:40.400]my hourly rates are low
[02:42.560]I'm so handy, you should call this pro
[02:47.270]I'm in the phone book and se habla Espa ol
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